26) The Last Slice

AND THEY’RE OFF.

Mother has just served up the pizza and garlic bread. Mmmm-yummy looks like pepperoni tonight. The kids have gotten in before Dad, a good tactical move. Looks like the younger brother is starting the night with a single slice of pizza and two bits of garlic bread, those sort of conscious good manners will cost you in this sport. Meanwhile the eldest sister as taken two bits of pizza and THREE pieces of garlic bread. Unbelievable. Wait a minute, the son has contested the decision and it goes to the umpire. Yes, mother agree that the daughter had made a selfish play and must return one slice of pizza and a piece of garlic bread. It was a risky move and she’s been caught out!

And now Dad gets his chance to shine, with his daughter already being reprimanded for being greedy how will he play it? Looks like his playing the smart game; two pizza and two garlic bread. Should tide him over until the second period. Mum gets in last and takes the same amount as Dad as she heads into the dining room.

So after the first period of intense action we have three pieces of garlic bread left and another six slices of pizza. Let’s move over to the dining room and see what’s happening there.

It seems like the sister is distracted by her sulks of protest and it is costing her precious eating time. The brother has already got through his two bits of garlic bread and is well on his way to completing his slice of pizza. But the strong favourite Dad is well ahead; no garlic bread remains on his plate and only one bit of pizza to go. Mum is keeping a steady pace which may bode well in the late game.

Look here! The brother has made a charge for the kitchen and has been intercepted by Dad who barges him out of the way. It wasn’t subtle at all, right under the watchful eye of the umpire. What is she going to call here? Yes a penalty to the son which means he gets first pick of the food items. And it looks like he’s going heavy, 3 slices of pizza and one bit of garlic bread. Dad tries to contest but Mum is already back in the dining room. Dad take two slices of pizza and none of the garlic bread either. If they both finish their plates they’ll be on four slices of pizza and two garlic breads.

Oh and it’s all gone horribly wrong as we return to the dining room. The daughter has been adjudged to be ‘moody’ and is complaining about the decision earlier. What’s this? Oh my, she’s been sent off to her room. What a silly reaction from the daughter, that will cost her the match. You can see she’s disappointed with herself as she storms out.

The brother and Dad are keeping good pace, but Dad has the advantage having already taken on a larger bulk earlier in the competition. His son’s complacency might be enough to give him the win here.

More drama! As we turn to the kitchen cam we can see the sister sneaking in and stealing the remainder of the garlic bread. That leaves just the last slice of pizza left. That will be the deciding factor between these two competitors tonight. The umpire who has been on such good form this evening has let an important incident slip under her radar. I’m sure there’ll be post-game ramifications for the daughter, but for now she gets away with it. In fact she’s just gone into the kitchen now.

We’ll join her later as shockingly, Dad appears to be choking on his pizza. His face is going red, and while it doesn’t appear fatal it is halting his tremendous pace! This has given the son a wonderful opportunity which he is gratefully accepting as he begins scoffing the crust of his last pizza. Dad has recovered and is also down to his last crust. It’s neck and neck, who’s going to do it. And experience prevails, Dad finishes his expertly and rushes to the kitchen. It’s unlucky for the youngster, his day will come but today Dad will take the last slice.

Oh no! I am wrong. Stick a black bin bag in my mouth because I’m talking rubbish. The last slice has gone. Dad is completely bemused. He’s checking under the plates, under the table. Did the daughter also nab the last slice of pizza? Let’s check our replay cams. Nope, just the garlic bread. Then who has it? The son comes out, and he too is baffled. Let’s turn on the living room cam.

It’s remarkable! I have never seen anything like this. Mum has taken the last slice of pizza AND taken the television so she can watch Casualty at the same time. My word, you watch this sport for so many years, and you think you’ve seen it all, then a wonder play takes you by surprise. I’m gobsmacked. I have no more words for you tonight ladies and gentlemen. Join us next time for more cracking action.