Dr Grey stood before his first ever class. He had his
lecture notes ingrained into his mind. The students stared with vacant eyes.
‘Morning,’ he said, ‘We must begin now, although this is the
only imperative I hope to use today.’
Dr Grey smiled. Someone in the crowd coughed.
‘Quiet please, no actions will be tolerated during the
lecture.’
He clicked to the first slide. It was a picture of the Swiss
flag.
‘At this point I’d ask for questions as to what you think of
when you think of Switzerland, but I don’t want to engage too much free
thinking. Switzerland may be known for it’s cheese or chocolate or Large Had-’
No, Science was too active. ‘Or Zurich, but it is also renowned for being
passive.’
He moved onto the next slide. A picture of soldiers in black
and white pictures, smoking and standing around was shown.
‘The wonderful thing about Switzerland is that despite a
world of conflict, they have remained passive always.’
A short, blonde woman put her hand up. It distracted Dr
Grey.
‘Questions at the end please.’
The girl’s hand remained in the air. Dr Grey sighed and
gestured toward her. A passive-aggressive movement. He would come back to that
later in the lecture.
‘Well, it’s just that Switzerland have been involved in
wars, many during the Napoleonic era of French history. Also, those are Belgian
soldiers in the picture, not Swiss, and they were certainly involved in the
war.’
Dr Grey stood without movement. Had he got all of this horribly
wrong? A crowd of students at the back stood up and began to file out of the
hall.
‘Urm, excuse me, please, there’s still more on passivity to
come.’
They didn’t listen. They had all decided to exercise their
right to act, to leave. As Dr Grey watched without protest, he wondered why
there needed to be a lecture on this anyway. He cursed his university superior
for suggesting this as a lecture title. He hadn’t even got to the funny part
about his wife yet.
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